On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
