Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
