I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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