Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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