mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
