aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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