your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
