Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
