If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
