I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
