Sober January is a disaster.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
