Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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