So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
