I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
