I heard we made out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
