i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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