You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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