he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
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Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize