I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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