Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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