it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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