Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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