I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
