it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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