uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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