I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
