we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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