I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
