I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
