There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
