Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I touched a dick in church today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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