I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
