There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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