two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize