I think I am morally bankrupt
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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