On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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