I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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