we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
