i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They have beer where we have blood.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize