You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Buhtt sex?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's not cheating when I paid for it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
