Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dick very happy bro
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
