I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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