If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
