Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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