i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
