please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Say something about gay babies.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We are all done wearing pants today
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
