I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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