everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize