like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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