Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
