I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
