He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you had me at cake vodka
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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