why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
