We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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