I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
