so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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