I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
