even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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