She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
