You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
