That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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